Thursday, July 26, 2012

Am I an only child??

    My mother had 4 children. I remember quite fondly of growing up with 3 older brothers. I was the only girl and the baby of the bunch. I had a different sperm donor than my 3 brothers, whom all share the same father. My brothers are 6, 7 and 8 years older than me. I got picked on and cried about all the mean things they said to me. I also learned alot from my brothers, they loved me and would protect me. I learned all the tricks that guys say to girls in their teenage years. Heck, how could I not learn that, they always had friends over. So my house was always full of boys. It was loud, fun and a learning experience.
     Ever since our mother has been sick, I'm the one to take care of her and everything that she may need. If she needs to go to the hospital, I take her. If she needs her clothes washed at home, I wash them. When she needs her medicine laid out for the month in one of those plastic containers, I lay them out for the month. I keep a check on her refills. When she has a Dr. appt., I take her. I talk with the doctors and learn all I can about this illness that is eating at my sweet mother. When she is at the hospital, I go every day and stay for hours. I call or text everyone to let them know she is in a room and what is going on. I am my mothers shoulder, rock and support.
   When she is in the hospital, my chores at home are put on the back burner. I don't cook dinner, they can pop something in the microwave. I don't get much cleaning done. I try to wash clothes but I am usually behind on that also. My main focus is my mother getting healthy enough to go home. I don't mind this job and will continue to do so without complaint. What I don't like or understand are my brothers.
     They rarely come to visit her when she is in the hospital. They continue their lives like nothing is wrong. They've gone on vacations while she was in the hospital. Sometimes they won't even call and ask how she is doing. After the first initial contact, telling them she is at the hospital, I chose to NOT call them with an update. Why should I?? I love my mother and can't imagine losing her so early. I'm 43 and she is only 68. Way too early for me.
      How can you not visit or call everyday. How can you expect 1 person to do it all alone. I am so stressed from worry that I have belly troubles sometimes and don't sleep well. I just can't figure out how I became the 1 and only care giver. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean crap! She is their mother also. I do understand that they have jobs but you don't work 24/7. Come on, call and act concerned at least. It hurts my mothers feelings when she realizes that they haven't called.
     Now my oldest brother will call everyday, whether she is in the hospital or at home. He always calls to check on her and has taken her to the hospital twice. He visits more often than the other 2 but not daily or every time she is in the hospital.
     Everyone looks to me to learn all this mess and keep up with it and take care of Mother and still have a life of my own. WHATEVER!! It makes me sick. I hope I never get this ill and find out my 2 sons are leaving my daughter to do it all.
      I never complain about any of this in front of or around my mother. I don't want her to think that I'm tired of her or anything. I don't want her to feel guilty.

Here is a photo with my mother in it. She wasn't a drinker. She contracted this horrible disease through Hep. C. She must of had for years and we never knew.
     This is a 5 generation photo. With my mother being sick and my grandmother getting older (she also is sick with Leukemia), I wanted to get this photo quick. My mom was just let out of the hospital the day before this photo was taken.
Back row: my oldest son Matt and Me
Middle row: my grandmother and my Mother
Front row: my granddaughter, Pyper

My mother didn't feel like taking the photo but she understood why I wanted it.

Tell and SHOW the people you love them often.
Have a great day and thanks for listening to my little rant.


  1. I'm so sorry that has all fallen on your shoulders. You do have your hands full. Unfortunately the daughter always seems to be the one to take on the burden. You are a brave woman and it's so nice that you are hiding your feelings from your mom. She would probably feel really bad if she knew. I'm sure she is proud of you and unfortunately, I'm sure she holds some disappointment on the brothers.

  2. Sheryl Hastings, thanks so much for the kind words. Yes, it is hard but the love for my mother has no bounds (as it should). She did for us and does for us still.