Thursday, May 16, 2013

Hello, Hello!!!
      Its been many months since I posted last year. A lot has changed and not all is good.
First, my nephew and his wife and little girl, finally moved out. His new wife is one of the laziest people I have ever met. She drove me batty just watching things she would or wouldn't do and things she would say. I could write a novel on this woman but I don't feel like wasting my time or your time on her, so onward.
      My house is sooooooo close to being ready to list for sale. I'm so excited about moving. I know it could be months before we sale but I'm a gypsy at heart and love to move to new places. Even if its just next door, that's a new place!!!  We've had to paint several rooms and make small repairs and its almost ready.
       Now to the news that is so very heartbreaking. My dear mother whom I have written about before, here on my blog. Last year she was battling Cirrhosis, they say she got from Hepatitis C that she didn't even know she had. Doctors said she probably had Hep C for 20 years or so. Mother went into the hospital at the end of October and she never made it out. She left this earth to be with her brother and earthly father in heaven together with their heavenly father, Dec. 4, 2012. My heart broke that day and I don't believe will ever heal. It is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with before in my life. She was only 68, too young to die. I was only 43, too young to lose my mother. She was my first best friend and after I got married she still was a close 2nd, just behind my husband. I can be happy and laugh at life, jokes, movies, etc. but I feel so empty sometimes. I have been battling a mild case of depression but every morning I exercise and it has really helped. I try to explain myself and my sadness this way.......If my happiness was a ball and it could fill with joy, it would never fill completely because in this ball is a void that is my sadness for the loss of my mother. It has been 5 months and I think of her several times every day. Too many holidays have come since she passed. First in December there was Christmas, then in January my birthday, at which time I tried to come to terms that she will never call me again to wish me a Happy Birthday. Third was her birthday in February, March had Easter, April was clear and May had Mothers Day and her mothers birthday (her mother is still living and 88 years old). So it has been tough but I am so thankful for my husband who has really helped me out through all the tears.
     Not sure if anyone ever reads my blogs and that's okay. I understand how life gets in the way and throws a wrench in the mix when you least expect it. If you still have one or both parents still living, please don't forget to tell them and show them how much you appreciate and love them.
      I want to leave you on a happy thought. This Memorial day weekend, my husband and I are off to visit his family in Missouri. A little family reunion is in order and time away but together. I love Missouri, such a  pretty area.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

New roommies!

Hello all. Its been about 2 weeks since I wrote last. My house has been a busy location.
    My nephew, his fiance and her little girl moved in with us. See they lived in a very dangerous part of Memphis and my husband couldn't stand that the little one was living there. So he offered them to move in with us about a month ago. Well they thought about it and took us up on the offer. They are getting married at the end of this month so they are also saving money by moving in also. So now I have a soon to be bride who is asking me lots of questions about the wedding day and needing help altering her wedding gown. This in conjunction with taking care of my mom. I'm trying to be calm in teaching this girl to clean behind herself. Its so annoying to learn new peoples habits and such. I think I am doing good not to choke her, lol. Just kidding. I stay on her butt and she is doing okay.
     My mom was feeling good today and I hope it continues for awhile. She rarely has good days anymore and I always hope she has more of those "Good" days. My grandmother, my moms mother, came to visit for a few days and stayed with my mom. The visit was good for both of them and it gave me a few days of no worries while she was there.
    Well next week I need to get my hair cut and go for our wellness check up for insurance purposes. Hope I can get those squeezed in with everything else.
     Have a good day and weekend everyone!!!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Am I an only child??

    My mother had 4 children. I remember quite fondly of growing up with 3 older brothers. I was the only girl and the baby of the bunch. I had a different sperm donor than my 3 brothers, whom all share the same father. My brothers are 6, 7 and 8 years older than me. I got picked on and cried about all the mean things they said to me. I also learned alot from my brothers, they loved me and would protect me. I learned all the tricks that guys say to girls in their teenage years. Heck, how could I not learn that, they always had friends over. So my house was always full of boys. It was loud, fun and a learning experience.
     Ever since our mother has been sick, I'm the one to take care of her and everything that she may need. If she needs to go to the hospital, I take her. If she needs her clothes washed at home, I wash them. When she needs her medicine laid out for the month in one of those plastic containers, I lay them out for the month. I keep a check on her refills. When she has a Dr. appt., I take her. I talk with the doctors and learn all I can about this illness that is eating at my sweet mother. When she is at the hospital, I go every day and stay for hours. I call or text everyone to let them know she is in a room and what is going on. I am my mothers shoulder, rock and support.
   When she is in the hospital, my chores at home are put on the back burner. I don't cook dinner, they can pop something in the microwave. I don't get much cleaning done. I try to wash clothes but I am usually behind on that also. My main focus is my mother getting healthy enough to go home. I don't mind this job and will continue to do so without complaint. What I don't like or understand are my brothers.
     They rarely come to visit her when she is in the hospital. They continue their lives like nothing is wrong. They've gone on vacations while she was in the hospital. Sometimes they won't even call and ask how she is doing. After the first initial contact, telling them she is at the hospital, I chose to NOT call them with an update. Why should I?? I love my mother and can't imagine losing her so early. I'm 43 and she is only 68. Way too early for me.
      How can you not visit or call everyday. How can you expect 1 person to do it all alone. I am so stressed from worry that I have belly troubles sometimes and don't sleep well. I just can't figure out how I became the 1 and only care giver. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean crap! She is their mother also. I do understand that they have jobs but you don't work 24/7. Come on, call and act concerned at least. It hurts my mothers feelings when she realizes that they haven't called.
     Now my oldest brother will call everyday, whether she is in the hospital or at home. He always calls to check on her and has taken her to the hospital twice. He visits more often than the other 2 but not daily or every time she is in the hospital.
     Everyone looks to me to learn all this mess and keep up with it and take care of Mother and still have a life of my own. WHATEVER!! It makes me sick. I hope I never get this ill and find out my 2 sons are leaving my daughter to do it all.
      I never complain about any of this in front of or around my mother. I don't want her to think that I'm tired of her or anything. I don't want her to feel guilty.

Here is a photo with my mother in it. She wasn't a drinker. She contracted this horrible disease through Hep. C. She must of had for years and we never knew.
     This is a 5 generation photo. With my mother being sick and my grandmother getting older (she also is sick with Leukemia), I wanted to get this photo quick. My mom was just let out of the hospital the day before this photo was taken.
Back row: my oldest son Matt and Me
Middle row: my grandmother and my Mother
Front row: my granddaughter, Pyper

My mother didn't feel like taking the photo but she understood why I wanted it.

Tell and SHOW the people you love them often.
Have a great day and thanks for listening to my little rant.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Home sweet Home!!!

Hello again,
     Update on my mothers condition. She had to have a tube run up her nose and into her belly to drain the bile. She couldn't get anything moving and started vomiting and hurting badly. They gave her a shot of morphine and that eased her pain some then they ran the tube. She HATES the tube up the nose because she's had it several times before. The tube hurts her nose and her throat. Well she got lucky and the removed the tube the next day then starting letting her eat and the very next day she was released. I took her home and got her things put away and her settled back in at home and even checked her medicines. I am soooooooooo glad she is home and I know she is happy to be back in her own bed again.
    3 more mouths to feed.............My nephew and his fiancee and her little girl live in a very dangerous area in Memphis, Tn and hate it there. So me and my husband offered our house, 1 room to be exact. They will probably be moving in this next weekend. It will be an adjustment to have 2 more adults and 1 small child living here but we want to help them get away from the danger. They are getting married next month so they will be first using their money to pay for their small wedding. He has a job and she will be looking for one as soon as they move in over here. So after the wedding then they start saving for an apartment nearby. I don't really need more people moving in here because I'm trying to fix the house up so we can sell and move out to the country. I also know that they need this more than my desire to move. So I will suck it up and fix what I can while they are here and continue on with my plans.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Cirrhois Sucks!!!!!

Hello again everyone.
    I went to my mothers house Sunday afternoon to move her tv and directv box downstairs. While there, she was complaining about her right side hurting. Wait, let me give you some back story about my moms health.
    In February of this year my Mother was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. We don't know how or when she contracted this disease but we were told that she has probably had it for many years. That is very annoying because she was suppose to have been tested about 10 years ago and was told she didn't have Hep C. So as we are trying to absorb that news, she is admitted to the hospital and we find out she has Cirrhosis of the Liver. I listen to the news and secretly scream inside. As she is being wheeled downstairs for some procedure, I break down and cry, out loud this time. I just can't imagine losing my mom.
    Okay, so back to Sunday afternoon. She tells me about her pain so I tell her I will call her doctor Monday as soon as the office opens. Then Monday morning around 7:00am she calls me telling me she is throwing up blood again, still hurting and still very swollen. So off to her house I go, we head straight to the Emergency Room. I sooooooooooooooo hate sitting in the ER. Well of course they admit her yet again. My poor mom has been in the hospital 6, 7 or 8 times since February. I feel so bad for her. She received plasma and 1 unit of blood so far. More blood is on order, she has some antibodies in her blood that can be hard to find, so we are waiting. She had an endoscope run down her throat this afternoon. The doctors to find and tell us some good news, 1. her congested stomach is healing and doing much better, 2. her esophageal varices has healed and are gone. I am very happy about that. He found a small bleed and banded it and she will stay in the hospital for a few more days so they can watch her. I am so glad they were able to find the bleed this time.
    So I know where I will be for the next few days.
If you pray, please pray for my mom. If you don't pray, then please just throw out some good wishes for her instead.
   Thank you for reading and I hope you and yours are doing well.


Thursday, July 12, 2012

Honey, I'm Home!!

Hello everyone, I haven't posted since July of last year and I have decided to change the reason for my blog.     
     Those of you who followed me because of my Etsy shop or anything associated with Etsy, I apologize now. I will NOT be posting items in my shop or promoting anything from Etsy on here any longer. I wasn't getting any sales from having my blog so I stopped using it. Then this year my mom was told she has Hepatitis C and probably had it for years and now she has Cirrohois of the Liver. So I don't have time for my Etsy shop and have placed it in Vacation Mode. I hope to one day return to Etsy but for now, I am leaving my options open to care for my Mother.
     I have decided to use this blog for personal reasons. Whether it be my thoughts on events of my life, the world or the weather. This will be almost a journal for me. I understand that if you choose to UNfollow me. It will NOT hurt my feelings.
     Thank you for reading my blog in the past and hope you hang around and enjoy reading my blogs in the future.

Laugh Often and Love Always,